On Facebook, friends are sending greetings for a Happy Passover and a Happy Easter. Although we don't actively celebrate either, I was moved by their wishes, and have acknowledged them with a sincere "Happy Passover!" or "Happy Easter"! I didn't include the caveat that, by the way, we don't do anything for Passover or Easter in my household. Sometimes, it's best to be semi-authentic and tolerate differences. Why unnecessarily put a damper on someone else's holiday?
I've been calling my mother and step-father frequently. My step-sister took the train down from Boston and has been there with my brother since Friday. Last night, all three of us had a mostly civil, somewhat contentious telephone discussion. We are all so different, and were trying very hard not to offend each other, each in our own way. There were some heated moments which I diffused by saying something to the effect of, "This is a very difficult stressful time for all of us, and we'll all have to do the best we can". I was willing to have another discussion today, but both of them demurred. I like to talk. They don't. I told them that I was fine with that. But, I was lying. They are precisely the people I need right now to help me sort out my feelings. Unfortunately, there were so many other issues lurking behind our words - so much unresolved anger and disappointment mixed with despair and fear, and probably other emotions of which I'm unaware.
But today, the sun is shining, the air is seasonably warm, and I am driving to Loudon County for a belly dancing class. I've been dancing a lot this weekend. It makes me happy. Is that a crime?
