As he is wont to do, he cited some lines from Michel de Montaigne's lengthy essay, "On Experience".
Michel de Montaigne, Paul Landowski, Rue des Ecoles, Paris
"I haven't done a thing today.' - 'Why! Have you not lived? That is not only the most basic of your employments, it is the most glorious."
I was temporarily soothed, but not for long. After all, my husband is engaged daily in what I consider to be extraordinarily significant professional endeavors, while my time is spent doing relatively unimportant things. I have a low-paying part-time job with our county's adult education program, I drive to the District four days a week for my sessions with Dr. B., I take dance lessons, I launder and iron, I cook meals occasionally, and I do my best to make sure the house will never be candidate for one of those awful messy house television shows. Compared to him, I am nothing. More to the point, compared to what I was raised to be, I am nothing. In my family, success meant becoming a doctor, lawyer, or chief. Since I am none of those things, I've spent most of my adult life punishing myself for not having succeeded.
However, if I use Montaigne's criteria, I am a remarkable success story. Dr. B seems to think I am. She thinks I am a very strong person and frequently reminds me that I have carved out a life for myself despite (or perhaps because of) my internal, sometimes paralyzing, conflicts. I don't happen to agree with Dr. B yet. I am grown up and am what I am going to be. I am still a failure.
