If the event did happen, and if the the account in the Washington Post is true, I think it's entirely possible that Mr. Romney has either sublimated the memory, or remembers it in an altered way,
As my step-father declines, my brother and I seem to be revisiting and reliving the death of our father in the summer of 1965. He will have been dead 47 years on August 22.
I was recounting the last days of my father's life in analysis and told Dr. B. that the last time I was with my father was after he had been admitted to the hospital. He was in a coma by the time my brother and I went to visit him. He died that evening. Alone. No one was there with him. Not even my mother.
He was in a coma by the time my brother and I went to visit him.
The thing is, my brother wasn't there. He wasn't even at home. He was hundreds of miles away at summer camp. My father died before my brother was able to get home.
And yet I was so sure that my memory was correct. I was so sure that I wasn't alone with my father. I don't remember anyone being there other than my father, my brother, and me. I'm not sure what this means.
I have similar emotion and trauma affected blurry non-memories. Things do blur. Oddly, with respect to the events you recount, I have very, very specific memories, but obviously I was affected differently and not as directly or acutely. Regarding the Romney story, I would only say the following: a) the Washington Post story already, if you've been following the subsequent reporting in other (respected and legitimate outlets), has been revised regarding some pertinent details and seems terribly compromised; b) as a former boarding school student, I'm not surprised by Romney's recollection/non-recollection or that things would blur after this long. Life at these schools was filled with incidents not dissimilar to this one. If specifically believed in all the details originally claimed by the Washington Post, I don't find it terribly unsettling. Once those details are questioned and blurred, I hate to say it but it doesn't seem like much of anything at all. I'm aware and have seen much, much worse behavior from boarding school teenagers. Curtis
ReplyDeleteSome memories blur or become distorted while a few remain vivid. I find that some of my happy memories SEEM to be intact, but perhaps I am making them happier than is actually warranted.
ReplyDeleteAs for the boarding school story, I'm fascinated to read your perspective. Worse behavior? That's a shame, I think. Although my school years were a blur, I don't remember anything like this going on. Of course, that doesn't mean that it wasn't. Nell
I must say that the Romney story, even taken at face value and full strength (which you can't do given the subsequent reporting), is basically nothing in terms of the things that went on routinely at boys' boarding schools. I guess I could shock you. Obviously, the really psycho stuff often resulted in expulsions. I think the Washington Post story is a disgrace in view of the wall-to-wall non-investigation of the most basic facts about salient parts of the president's biography. But that's the way news is reported today. Curtis
ReplyDeleteHave you written about your boarding school days? Sounds very intriguing. As I age, not too much shocks me anymore. I find that I am disappointed at times, which is quite different.
ReplyDeleteThat's a very striking memory. Perhaps there was a great wish that your brother was there. Or perhaps at that moment you didn't clearly distinguish between yourself and him. I've been thinking about confusions of identity a lot lately.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I differ on a small number of memories. We'll probably never know which one is right. Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Your second point is fascinating. It doesn't ring true, but then the subconscious doesn't generally ring at all.
ReplyDeleteI do know that my father's death profoundly affected my brother and I in very dissimilar ways. We didn't talk very much after his death.
I have the same experience with my husband. in fact, there are a few occasions he remembers quite vividly that I cannot recall at all.
I think what you do and don't remember about an event is generally more significant than the veracity of the memory.