A woman I know has decided to proceed with her scheduled knee surgery tomorrow. What was surprising to me is that she had waited to make her final decision until this morning.
The Lacemakers of Ghent at Prayer, Max Silbert
She told me that she had been praying for a sign. Her prayers were answered when she awoke this morning and discovered that the pain in her knee had become excruciating. That was her sign. As a result, she is calmly awaiting her twenty-minute laparoscopic procedure to repair a small meniscus tear.
I envied her faith. I've talked to Dr. B. about my general lack of what people refer to these days as "faith". Since she is my analyst, it is her job to "be with me" as she calls it. She never outwardly shows any sign of whether she agrees or disagrees with my beliefs; rather, she attempts to experience the world through my belief system, or one might say, my non-belief system. Frankly, I have no idea what her beliefs are. That frustrates and annoys me. I'd love to know. It might help me have some faith. But that would be cheating.
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